A Great Diet Day! // Journal 6.28.16

So I woke up this morning SUPER inspired (may or may not have already said that in another post..), BUT! Nonetheless I actually stuck to it!! I had 139 calories today, and burned over 200! I weighed myself in the morning and night (yes I know you’re not suppose to do that) but I dropped a pound!

Okay okay I know I shouldn’t get excited about loosing a pound because in the morning it could be back up to my original weight.. But a girl can dream!

I’ve also found a huge community on YouTube all around thinspo and I’ve been watching videos all day! I really reccomend you guys to watch some videos on there if you’re looking for motivation to keep up your fast.

[* yes, the picture is of my food log! I’m planning my ‘meals’ and all the calories that go in my body and get burned off!]

Hope you guys have a glorious day, stay positive; change is just around the corner!

-K .xo 

It’s a Good Day // Journal 6.28.16

I woke up this morning super inspired and I’m so happy at how I’m doing today. 

3 almonds

1 cup of green tea

5 blueberries

And I’ve also started my daily workout! I’m excited because I can do it in my room where no one can see. 

20 jumping jacks

10 squats

But this is only halfway through the day, here’s my daily plan;

6 almonds

2 cups of green tea

20 blueberries

100 jumping jacks

50 squats

10 push ups

With this new plan I drew up for myself I get what fills my tummy and I burn it off right after! I also weighed myself this morning and I’ve lost a pound!! At this rate I can loose more, and hopefully loose 2 more pounds before I go on a camping trip with my family. 

Stay positive, dolls! You can do it!!

-K .xo

Telling The Truth // Journal 6.27.16

I’m going to come clean and say that I have BED (Binge Eating Disorder). I have been trying lately to stop eating and restrict to under 1000 calories a day but .. for me it is really hard. Today I was suppose to have 300 calories, but ended up eating 1,310 calories. Why am I so messed up? I messed up this whole diet plan that I had and I hate myself for it. From now on I am planning eat meal so that there is no way I can mess up again and binge.

I am also weighing myself tomorrow and I am terrified… I am going to stay up and post more thinspo because this blog doesn’t have enough. Ugh. Wish me luck guys.

New Crash-Course Diet; The Ana Way

The following is more of a mental note to myself then a post to tell others to do; 

Ana Bootcamp Diet~

Alright loves, so this is what I will be eating/doing for the next 7-8 weeks. And here are the rules I am going to hold myself to;

1. If you go over your daily calorie limit; work it off. 

2. If you stay way below your daily calorie limit, you can have 100 calories added to the next day.

3. No ‘junk food’ AKA- candy, chocolate, chips, ect.

4. You have to burn at least 200 calories a day at minimum. (You can burn more, but that’s up to you.)

5. Repeat diet until you hit your goal weight.
I hope you guys support me, and as always I’ll be posting day to day on everything that goes on! 

-K .xo

Bullying Update #1

My bully, let’s call him C, came up to me and said he was sorry for calling me names earlier today. And here’s why that pisses me off;

If you were sorry about what you did; you wouldn’t have kept doing it over and over and over. My biggest issue is that he only apologized so they he wouldn’t get in trouble. He does not care about me one bit. 

So yes, this morning I was doing chores when he came over and started saying; and I quote; 

You’re so lazy; you never do anything. You’re always inside the house doing nothing because you’re lazy. You don’t have any friends and why would you? You’re lazy and disgusting. 

These words, and more, came out of C’s mouth right at me. I told him that, in laymens terms; you only bully me because you aren’t happy with yourself. And of course this set him off so he started kicking me and threatening me with a knife. He kept poking the knife (a huge butcher knife), in my back before I finally broke and started screaming and crying. 

This is just another typical day in my life; be abused, panic attack, hide in my room. Welcome to my fucked up life. 
-K .xo

Tips to Survive Bullying; 1

Tip One; Don’t Encourage Them

This my sounds like a very obvious one, but what I mean is try your best to not show how hurt you are. Better said them done, I know; but just listen for a second- bullies thrive off of how much they hurt you. If you try and act like you’re not affected at all; they will most likely stop bullying you sooner then later.

Tip Two; Have An Outlet

If you are a victim of bullying, try expressing how you feel. Write a journal, poems;  if you’re not into writing, try drawing. Go biking, listen to music, clean your room, get a fish; whatever you believe will help you get through and control how you feel- without being destructive.

The worst thing I did was start self-harming. Every time after my abuser would hurt me I would cut myself to let out anger, sadness, and all of my other emotions. This has scarred me for the rest of my life; and I can’t take it back. Please do not start self harming, and if you already do please consider stopping. For me personally I am four months clean and I don’t feel the need to do it again. (More on this topic on the self harm portion on my blog).

These are all the tips and comments I have for now; and keep checking this page because I will be adding to it periodically. Thank you guys for reading & checking our my blog; please follow me and stay tuned for more posts soon!

 

Stay strong lovies!!

-K .xo

Bullying and Abuse

Hi again loves, so I have decided to also document my bullying. I have been bullied for ten years, (maybe more), and it is still increasingly hard to deal with. I happen to live with my bully; which is personally very hard to cope with. My brother has physically hurt me, as well as mentally and verbally.

Has my personal mental illness(s) come from his abuse? Yes; I can say that a good amount of my illness and disorder(s) have stemmed from his prolonged abuse.

So I wanted to create a space on my blog to share & write tips to surviving abuse and bullying. I really hope this helps some of you, and if you ever need someone to talk to; email me at shuffle6795@live.com .

 

6.25.16 || Eating?

Alright so I wanted to start my “hardcore fast” today but that wasn’t going to happen.. So I’m going to be documenting what I ate;

1 banana

12 blackberries

12 blueberries

6 grapes

1 piece of baloney

1 diet chocolate candy

And sadly there’s no real way to accurately track calories in fruit .. But I’m going to do some research and come back to that!

I have almonds that I can eat if I get hungry again so I can always fall back on those. I aiming for 10 bottles of water today, starting now. I woke up late so my day is already messed up.. Ugh.

I will post more later, loves.

-K .xo

Well here we are again

Hello lovies, if you haven’t forgotten about me! K is back and here to get things done. I will be answering some questions before getting into the main part of this post;

Why did you leave?

It’s simple, kind of. Mentally, I had given up. After not losing weight for three weeks I binged and binged and binged. I gained 40 pounds and have plummeted into a darker hole then before. I thought recovering from being fat was a dream I couldn’t reach; so I left the online community. 

Why did you come back?

After gaining 40 pounds; I have come to the conclusion that I need self discipline (More on this at a later date).

Will your blog be up to date with how you are doing?

Of course; yes. I believe that I can help others achieve their weight goals as well as reaching mine. If you ever need motivation to get through a fast or someone to talk to, I am always here to talk!

That is all for tonight, I will be editing my blog tomorrow to fix everything that is wrong with it.. Stay tuned!

Stay strong, loves.

-K .xo