Bullying Update #1

My bully, let’s call him C, came up to me and said he was sorry for calling me names earlier today. And here’s why that pisses me off;

If you were sorry about what you did; you wouldn’t have kept doing it over and over and over. My biggest issue is that he only apologized so they he wouldn’t get in trouble. He does not care about me one bit. 

So yes, this morning I was doing chores when he came over and started saying; and I quote; 

You’re so lazy; you never do anything. You’re always inside the house doing nothing because you’re lazy. You don’t have any friends and why would you? You’re lazy and disgusting. 

These words, and more, came out of C’s mouth right at me. I told him that, in laymens terms; you only bully me because you aren’t happy with yourself. And of course this set him off so he started kicking me and threatening me with a knife. He kept poking the knife (a huge butcher knife), in my back before I finally broke and started screaming and crying. 

This is just another typical day in my life; be abused, panic attack, hide in my room. Welcome to my fucked up life. 
-K .xo

Tips to Survive Bullying; 1

Tip One; Don’t Encourage Them

This my sounds like a very obvious one, but what I mean is try your best to not show how hurt you are. Better said them done, I know; but just listen for a second- bullies thrive off of how much they hurt you. If you try and act like you’re not affected at all; they will most likely stop bullying you sooner then later.

Tip Two; Have An Outlet

If you are a victim of bullying, try expressing how you feel. Write a journal, poems;  if you’re not into writing, try drawing. Go biking, listen to music, clean your room, get a fish; whatever you believe will help you get through and control how you feel- without being destructive.

The worst thing I did was start self-harming. Every time after my abuser would hurt me I would cut myself to let out anger, sadness, and all of my other emotions. This has scarred me for the rest of my life; and I can’t take it back. Please do not start self harming, and if you already do please consider stopping. For me personally I am four months clean and I don’t feel the need to do it again. (More on this topic on the self harm portion on my blog).

These are all the tips and comments I have for now; and keep checking this page because I will be adding to it periodically. Thank you guys for reading & checking our my blog; please follow me and stay tuned for more posts soon!

 

Stay strong lovies!!

-K .xo

Bullying and Abuse

Hi again loves, so I have decided to also document my bullying. I have been bullied for ten years, (maybe more), and it is still increasingly hard to deal with. I happen to live with my bully; which is personally very hard to cope with. My brother has physically hurt me, as well as mentally and verbally.

Has my personal mental illness(s) come from his abuse? Yes; I can say that a good amount of my illness and disorder(s) have stemmed from his prolonged abuse.

So I wanted to create a space on my blog to share & write tips to surviving abuse and bullying. I really hope this helps some of you, and if you ever need someone to talk to; email me at shuffle6795@live.com .