This is going to be the section of my blog where I can share stories, write whatever, vent and be sort of a ‘journal’ thing. So brace yourselves.
So today was quite ok, I guess. I woke up and my mom was in my room turning off my fan, she said she was leaving to go to my brothers football game and so was everyone else. I obviously didn’t want to go, so I stayed home. Well, she didn’t really give me a choice. She kind of just left me here.
This is what happens every fucking year; my brother starts football, and my parents ignore me. They never went to any of my sport events, so I just stopped playing sports. They never went to any of my guitar classes, not even my dance classes. They always put my brother first, and I told them how I felt and they yelled at my for being ungrateful. Of course I’m thankful for them, and I don’t want to seem like I’m not; but they treat me like a piece of shit all the time.
Anyways, I binged twice. I almost had a full 24 hours on my fast and I fucking broke. That’s what happens when I’m home alone. I break. And I hate it. But I hate being around people too, so maybe I should just throw out all the food in my house.
I’m fasting right now, and let me tell you; when you’re as big as me, or you love food as much as me, it sucks. But I know it will all be perfect in the end when I’m all skinny.
Honestly even during my fast, if someone offers me just a bit of cookie or candy or gum I cave. I don’t think ‘I’m fasting, I can’t’ I just talk with my stomach and say yes. But that’s going to change this year. Right here, right now; I will not break my fast once unless someone shoves food down my throat.
Seriously this post was just to vent the events (ha) that happened today. I will probably do this every day, but eh, if I skip one, who really cares.
-K xo