About a month ago I went to check my Instagram ( was @ suffocated.lungs ) to find that it was deleted. Someone had reported it and it was gone. I emailed with Instagram and they said they couldn’t do anything; if it was reported too many times it would be automatically taken down.
This itself sent me into a spiral of relapse and destruction. I started binge eating; and then started purging again. I’ve been restricting to 500-800 calories (which is good, but I haven’t stuck with it for more than a week). It’s like my world has caved in on me and I can’t handle it.
After 5-8 months clean, I relapsed. I self harmed and didn’t stop doing it until about a week ago. I still have urges but I try to suppress them. (When I say I didn’t stop until a week ago I mean I actually cut myself for 6-17 days in a row. Probably 10-15 cuts daily. Deep.)
And yes; I’m not loosing weight. I’ve bounced between 1-2 pounds and it kills me inside that I can’t do better.
I’m going to try to go back to 800 calories a day, and if I keep that up for a week I’ll move to 500. I can do this. I can.
Thanks for listening, and I hope you guys are ready for more posts and a more active blog coming soon!!
-k
Breathing Ana 